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| A button from the event |
October is home to several events held to commemorate
or bring to light a number of issues regarding women for instance breast cancer
and domestic violence awareness. This year I attended the Annual Candlelight
Vigil courtesy of the Barren River Area Safe Place Inc. which is the second
event of its kind I have attended since when I relocated to Bowling Green, the
first one was last year. This annual event is dedicated to the memory of those
who lost their lives as a result of domestic violence homicide. Inasmuch as this year’s event was not well
attended I feel like the message was relayed to the people who would in turn pass
on the information to other people. At
the venue there was a white hearse with a white casket and a beautiful wreath
to signify the beautiful lives lost through intimate partner violence.
There are shocking statistics of women murdered by a
spouse or intimate partner in Kentucky where 24 women have been killed in the
past one year ending October 2013. A number of
these women are from my neighboring counties as well as my county and this implies that a woman in an abusive relationship would be anyone from a stranger to a neighbor or roommate to your
closest relations. It is quite unfortunate that intimate partner violence knows
no limits, the youngest woman on the list was only 17 which made me think of my
baby sister the oldest being 62, this is
somebody’s grandma! As I stood there listening to a survivor’s story, I couldn't fight my tears from flowing. Her story made a lot of sense to me; I
was able to see how the victims of intimate partner violence would easily stay
in an abusive relationship. While there are some victims like the survivor at this event
and many other courageous women who have broken away from these abusive
relationships, some remain stuck in abusive relationships and eventually die. Every year intimate partner violence leaves women with depression, alcohol use problems, unwanted pregnancies and abortions, low birth-weight babies, Sexually Transmitted Infections, injuries and even death. This is where each of us is mandated to act on our own behalf as well as on
behalf of the vulnerable and faint hearted ladies out there who fail to act in
time to save their lives.
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| The hearse with a casket at the 2013 Candlelight Vigil in Bowling Green, Ky |
Someone would wonder how this information about
intimate partner violence in Kentucky relates to them yet they are miles away
from Kentucky or America for that matter!? We all know that domestic violence knows no race, ethnicity, class or whatever your social standing is and that shows just how this statistics would be a replica of any other place across the globe.According to the Guardian September 2013, two women in England and Wales are killed every single week in domestic violence for the past decade. The WHO in June 2013 released prevalence rates of intimate partner violence in some sections of the world; South East Asia had a prevalence rate of 37.7%, Eastern Mediterranean 37% while Africa had 36.6%. We have witnessed violence against women in our families, neighborhoods, societies as well as in the media and yet remain silent and term these incidences as “their”
issues and not our concern until the worst happens to someone so close to us then we realize that we do not know how to confront it or it is overwhelming.
Some places around the world have resources like
safes places where women would seek refuge, for example our own Barren River
District has The Barren River Safe Place among other places as well as crisis
lines that women would call for help. These resources would be useless if
people are not aware of their availability hence people should strive to be
aware of the resources available to them in their societies to avert adverse
consequences like loss of lives. Another very important asset would be a social
worker; social workers help people access resources in their communities as well
as provide therapeutic interventions to victims of domestic violence. Social
workers are passionate about social justice issues and this is not limited to
child welfare issues as per popular belief. They achieve this role by
advocating for particular client rights as well as creating awareness about
social concerns of people in the society. While all these resources may not be
available to each and every one of us in all corners of the world, this does
not mean that all is lost; as mentioned earlier on, ourselves and those around
us are the greatest tool that would enable us to stamp out domestic violence.
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| Ladies who lost their lives between October 1, 2012-September 30, 2013 |
In conclusion, this year’s statistics indicate that
2 women are killed every month in Kentucky, unless something is done the
numbers would go up or maybe the numbers would remain at two but then who would
like his/her friend, neighbor, family, anyone to be the statistics? Doing
something about the issue calls for each of us to break the silence, make sure
you talk about it to those around you and empower them. Remember that Kentucky
would be anywhere in the world so ladies bear in mind that you don’t have to be
a corpse to come out of that abusive relationship!!! While I put my body to
rest tonight, my condolences go out to those who have lost their loved ones in
intimate partner violence (may their souls rest in peace) and a message to
y’all across the world, “BREAK THE SILENCE”!
Hopefully the next Annual Candlelight Vigil will bring
a message of conquest.
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